When you’re a working adult going back to finish your degree, it can feel like you’re starting from zero.
Maybe you don’t remember how to write an academic paper, maybe you forgot how to study, or maybe you feel behind in life compared to your peers.
I remember scrolling through Instagram. I saw posts everywhere of my high school graduation class graduating from college and moving towards prestigious careers.
I remember feeling so behind and so unaccomplished because I was a college dropout at the time.
Now, I feel proud of where I’m at in life. Although I’m still taking classes and still could be considered ‘behind,’ my mindset has changed to where I’m technically ahead of my peers.
In this post, you’ll learn the life and mindset changes that have allowed me to find satisfaction in this season. By the end, you’ll find that you’re in a great spot compared to your peers who already graduated.
Why the Feeling Shows Up
In order to fix the feeling, we first need to figure out the root cause.
It’s simple: Comparisons.
This could be comparisons to other people or to society norms.
I found that the biggest thing that perpetuated this feeling was social media. It feels good to ‘be in the know’ with other people’s lives. But remember, they’re only showing the highlights.
Curiosity killed the cat, but in this case, the cat is our joy.
We all have different timelines and life circumstances. These shape each person’s path, including your own.
This leads to my first tip:
Address what you’re trying to escape from when you’re scrolling through social media.
It wasn’t enough for me to just delete Instagram, I had to address why I was on it.
I felt inadequate about my life, so I tried to use scrolling as a means of escape. This perpetuated the cycle of feeling insecure because I was comparing myself to the folks online.
Once I addressed this, I no longer felt as much need to scroll.
Reducing my social media intake allowed me to stay in my own lane and focus on my own personal growth.
I’ve learned that the only comparison should be the progress I’ve made with myself, and I believe this is the case for you too.
In short, focus on what you’re building for yourself and your family as a working student, and try to mind your own beeswax.
Celebrate what you have already in life
You may not have finished school yet, but you may be leaps and bounds ahead of what you think. Here’s what I mean.
You have a steady job.
This means you have work experience. A lot of traditional college students don’t get this work experience until after they graduate. And if you remember getting your first job, you know how stressful that can be.
You’ve grown and matured, allowing for better decision-making
Next is that you’ve had a chance to experience the real world and workforce before making the decision to finish your degree.
Because we’ve been in the workforce for a while, we know what we like and don’t, as well as what we’re willing to tolerate.
This means that we can make wiser decisions when it comes to picking and paying for our degrees. And this means saved money, effort, and more realistic expectations.
The traditional college route can mean you go into a career you hate or has poor growth prospects. You might have idealistic expectations, or you feel pushed into something by your parents (been there, done that).
You’ve Built or Cutoff Relationships
At this point in your life, you may have separated from toxic relationships and built supportive ones.
Your support system will help you take care of your life responsibilities while you’re earning your degree.
You’ve become your own person, and make decisions based on that.
This is something to be proud of.
Realize There’s More to Life Than School
The last tip that helped me overcome feeling behind in life is to stop obsessing over school. You and your life are made up of more than that.
This is easier said than done, so here are some strategies to help:
Forget about school when you’re not working on an assignment.
I used to check my student portal everyday to check my progress towards my degree. Each time I logged in, I was almost anxious that there was no change.
I also tried rationalizing taking more classes at a time to finish sooner. This made me yearn for the future, but hate my present.
This cycle ultimately made me feel worse.
Learn and Create Other Things
Instead, make time and mental space for things and skills you want to build on the side.
For example, I’ve always wanted to learn how to play drums. We picked up my husband’s old drum kit and I started playing my first beat!
This was invigorating, and has given me something else to look forward to after work that doesn’t have to do with making more money.
Make Time for Self-Care
For me, that includes taking care of my hair, doing my make up, and putting more effort into my day to day outfits.
This has helped me feel more confident in myself, and feel like I’m investing into my body.
Doing things like this will help you to stop ruminating on your school and career growth 24/7. You’ll also learn to live freely in the moment while you’re waiting to graduate.
Know that the Degree is Already Yours
A huge mindset shift that changed everything for me was believing that the degree is already mine, I’m just waiting for it to be in my hands. This gives me automatic peace that I will finish school because I keep showing up for it.
Conclusion
To summarize, here are some things to help you if you’re feeling behind your peers who already graduated as a non-traditional student:
- Comparison is the reason for your feelings
- Find out what you’re escaping from when you scroll on social media, and address the cause
- Stay in your own lane
- Celebrate what you’ve already accomplished in life
- Realize that waiting to finish your degree gave you a hefty advantage
- Stop obsessing over school and how much progress you’re making.
I learned recently that patience isn’t the act of waiting; instead, it is what you do while you’re waiting.
You’re going to make it because you keep showing up consistently. Keep it up, and one day you’ll see that you’ve made a bunch of progress in the blink of an eye.